hey!

Love your art, Grace! Thought I’d post one of my own!

Hmmm… looks better from further back. 🙂

i put the pro in procrastination

07/29/18 edit: Sadly, I’m not nearly this pretentious anymore, but I think my Tumblr-girl persona is hilariously cringey so I’ll keep it up. 🙂

Yo Grace. It worked.

Hello to the bushels (which is about 35.2 US liters. no, i didn’t just google that ?? ??? [sweating]) of abandoned MySpace pages! (By the way, is anyone else still getting emails?)

My name is Courtney Page (http://random-name-generator.info/), a suspiciously inactive blogger on this blog.

Now, let me explain. It’s not because I’ve run out of ideas, or that I’ve got zero experience writing an actual blog, or that my life simply does not hold any interest-

-it’s a combination of all three.

Added to the fact that I have finally come to accept my fate drowning in the tons of homework that our teachers hand out.

Okay, I admit that when I say “tons”, I mean maybe a thirty minutes worth per class and one or two tests to revise for, but my method for completing said homework tends to be a bit off.

I, like many others, seem to enjoy completing various tasks in a method called, “Anything But This”, also known as “Chronic Procrastination Disorder”.

Many of you are very familiar with this trait. Instead of sitting down like a civilized human being and completing the task at hand, you’d rather drop yourself down onto the middle of Scandinavia, just on the point where Finland (the Finnish Line?), Sweden, and Norway meet and create an elaborate story of how you were abducted by aliens, rejected by their studies, and dropped straight onto the Three-Country Cairn. As a lone traveler who was most likely about to die soon, you probably did what everyone does of dreaming. You painfully dragged yourself around the cairn, croaking “I’m in Sweden! I’m in Finland! I’m in Norway!” until you accidentally fell into the water.

In Google Maps, that is.

In real life, it’s a little less immersive. (Not that I’ve ever had any experience with this, of course.)

As a professional procrastinator who started writing this post almost a month ago but stopped right about here to read fanfiction, I’d like to be here to sympathize with those who suffer from the same condition. If you’d like, tell me your best procrastination stories in the comments and we can cry over many hours we’ve lost of our lives.

[rides off into today’s afternoon sunset with you and your cow]

[actually]

[maybe not today today]

[but sometime soon.]

-Courtney Page

well hello there

It may please a select few of you to know that the title of this introduction was almost “How’s it Goin’ Bitches?” before I deemed it too inappropriate for a first introduction. Maybe next time.

Hello to the panful of duckbilled platypi who are currently feasting their eyes upon this very post. My name is Irene Storm (http://random-name-generator.info/), a recently acquired friend of Stacy’s.

There was a post on this blog titled “What oh What Should I Blog About?” that goes as follows:

Here are 10 ideas for what to blog about when it feel like you’ve used up your ideas.

1. Your life. Unless it’s boring.

2. Your favorite thing. Unless it is anything the ’20 Things Every Person Really Hates’ list.

3. Your boyfriend/girlfriend. Unless you don’t have one.

4. Your town. Unless it sucks.

5. Your friends. Unless they’re boring too.

6. Your family. Unless they’re dead or boring.

7. Your pet. Unless you don’t have one.

8. Talents that you have. Unless you don’t have any.

9. Write a review about a book, movie or game you have.

10. If you’ve come this far without being able to use any of the other ideas, it means you are very boring, and need to get a life.

Sadly, I crossed off every item on that list until I got to number 10. I have been deemed a boring person by the admin herself. But wait! No, I can not be. There is still one thing that may make me worth talking to:

puns

Your first response will be to ask me to die a painful death. That’s okay. My puns are pretty killer. ((pun #1))

[laugh track]

No? Nobody?

All right.

That’s it for now. “Writer’s block is a real thing, despite what anyone says.” -me

[dramatically bows to all of my adoring fans (that happens to consist of -3 people)]

-Irene Storm