i put the pro in procrastination

07/29/18 edit: Sadly, I’m not nearly this pretentious anymore, but I think my Tumblr-girl persona is hilariously cringey so I’ll keep it up. 🙂

Yo Grace. It worked.

Hello to the bushels (which is about 35.2 US liters. no, i didn’t just google that ?? ??? [sweating]) of abandoned MySpace pages! (By the way, is anyone else still getting emails?)

My name is Courtney Page (http://random-name-generator.info/), a suspiciously inactive blogger on this blog.

Now, let me explain. It’s not because I’ve run out of ideas, or that I’ve got zero experience writing an actual blog, or that my life simply does not hold any interest-

-it’s a combination of all three.

Added to the fact that I have finally come to accept my fate drowning in the tons of homework that our teachers hand out.

Okay, I admit that when I say “tons”, I mean maybe a thirty minutes worth per class and one or two tests to revise for, but my method for completing said homework tends to be a bit off.

I, like many others, seem to enjoy completing various tasks in a method called, “Anything But This”, also known as “Chronic Procrastination Disorder”.

Many of you are very familiar with this trait. Instead of sitting down like a civilized human being and completing the task at hand, you’d rather drop yourself down onto the middle of Scandinavia, just on the point where Finland (the Finnish Line?), Sweden, and Norway meet and create an elaborate story of how you were abducted by aliens, rejected by their studies, and dropped straight onto the Three-Country Cairn. As a lone traveler who was most likely about to die soon, you probably did what everyone does of dreaming. You painfully dragged yourself around the cairn, croaking “I’m in Sweden! I’m in Finland! I’m in Norway!” until you accidentally fell into the water.

In Google Maps, that is.

In real life, it’s a little less immersive. (Not that I’ve ever had any experience with this, of course.)

As a professional procrastinator who started writing this post almost a month ago but stopped right about here to read fanfiction, I’d like to be here to sympathize with those who suffer from the same condition. If you’d like, tell me your best procrastination stories in the comments and we can cry over many hours we’ve lost of our lives.

[rides off into today’s afternoon sunset with you and your cow]

[actually]

[maybe not today today]

[but sometime soon.]

-Courtney Page